I have lived in US for more than 5 years now. My daughter was a year old when we arrived here. Now she is in Kindergarten and does things that I sometimes cannot fathom. One of the more prominent things that I have noticed is she is very self reliant. I ‘d say, I was not even 1% when I was her age. Not only that, she already has choices of her own, and it is difficult to convince her otherwise in any situation. I guess most of you may say that it is a good thing and maybe it is, and I’d agree if I was born and bought up here in US. However, it makes me uncomfortable that she has a very different cultural influence than what I had growing up.
Please do not mistake me, US offers you what no other country in world does. The standard of living, infrastructure, facilities etc….and honestly it is a difficult decision to make, whether to live here or go back.
Why is this decision so difficult?
Especially when an Individual is earning more money and getting pretty much everything that he wants materialistically!
It is because he/she worries about how their kids are going to grow up and with what values. The same thought that I keep having in my mind all time and one of the main reasons that my decision is drifting towards moving back to India.
So what are these Indian values that I am talking about ? After all India is one of the most diverse countries. A south Indian living is Kerala for e.g. is completely different to a person living in Northern India. Their physical attributes are different, their professions are different, their language, their festivals and even the food they eat are miles apart from each other.
However, one thing that they have in common is values
Tyaga (renunciation), dana (liberal giving), nishtha (dedication), satya (truth), ahimsa (non-violence) and upeksha (forbearance) are the foundations for the Indian values system.
Following are the few examples that you see very commonly in India:
Respect for parents and Elders: In most cases you will see that children have high respect for their parents and elders. Even when they grow up the respect always stays. Also, children take care of their parents till their last.
Family orientation: Indians will have very close knit family. Nowadays it is difficult to have joint families, but in early days having a joint family was a matter of pride.
Sacrifice and adjustment: Most Indians are known for their adjusting nature. They are not rigid and in most cases, they put others before themselves.
Importance to Education: Education is probably the most important thing for parents about their children. Parents sacrifice their career and savings to give children better education.
Trust in Institution of Marriage: In India more than 70 % are arranged marriages and divorce rate is less than 3%. This only goes to show that husband and wife make adjustments and go to lengths to ensure that marriage is successful.
This is what I want my daughter to see in her everyday life when she is growing !
Todays Poll on Indian cultural value system: click here if you are reading this post in a feed reader and can’t see the poll
Further Reading: A case study on Indian Values
Note: This is the 7th post in the 30 part series that I am doing on Key success factors for doing business in India – A 30 part series!Earlier Posts in the series:
# An overview of India’s history, geography, and legacy
# India’s economic growth and Rise of Consumer Market
# The political landscape of India and its effects on business
# India’s new-found confidence: implications for international firms
# One of the largest English speaking nations.
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Author: Arun Prabhudesai
Arun Prabhudesai is founder / chief editor at trak.in. He jumped the Entrepreneurship bandwagon in early 2008 after a long 13 year stint in I.T Industry. You can follow him on twitter @trakin or get in touch with him at admin-at-trak-dot-in or 91.9822575676.Related posts:
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- Blogs and Blogging: Perspective of a Common Man in India
- Tales of Indian real estate and the common man
- Woohoo…Another salvo from Mr. Kapil Sibal – Suggests no pre-school before age of 4 !
- 13 reasons for success of Indian software industry
- What is one truth about an Indian living abroad ?
- Internet Poll Verdict: Indian Broadband connections are expensive…but why ?
- The Future of Rupee: Indian people getting richer
- Indian Education Report 2009
- Indian Political Landscape and its effect on doing business in India
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for every one nice thing you point about india there are a hundred that are wrong. the crime rates – inequality – corruption – frustations in daily life – nepotism just to name a few. Besides all of these things you mention can be inculcated anywhere in the world – I mean its not that Americans dont respect their parents?? Besides, since its been 5 years for you you’ve probably lost touch with whats happening here. Millions of kids here also dont respect their parents, thousands get onto drugs, hundreds get into criminal activities. Your reasons for coming back are flawed and if you took a decision based on that you’d be very disappointed.
SRK…Thanks for your comment. I’d not want to oppose you in what you have mentioned, however, the view point I mentioned is more generic. I do agree that there are other wrong things in India and if you are a regular reader of my blog you would see I have covered a lot of negatives of Indian too..
When it comes to Indian values, a large percentage of population still follows the traditions. Remember, more than 65% of Indians still live in villages and even in urban population, 85% are middle class for whom these values and tradition are quite important.
And finally thanks for the cautioning me on my return. My return to India may have many reasons, of which this one is important, but not the only.
thank you for ur information
u r doing great job
i’m learning alot from ur site
you r a truely an INDIAN
I feel that there are good things about our Indian culture and you have mentioned the positives that I have thought of. However, I feel that the American culture has many more positive attributes than does the Indian. I am currently a student in high school but was born and raised in India until the age of 4. From what I have analyzed, I have come to believe that a mix of both the American and Indian cultures is the optimal situation for raising a child. The aspects of the Indian culture that you should incorporate include strong family values, respect for elders, and the importance of education. However, many American values should also be included.
The biggest flaw in our culture is the common mentality of doing as a superior tells. Us Indians are reputed as being very “smart”. I completely disagree with this. I feel that we are not smart but simply are conscientious. When given a task, we execute that duty with perfection while giving importance to meticulous details. However, we are not likely to think intuitively and ingenuously. That is where the American culture comes in. We are trained by our culture to be submissive to our elders and superiors and to do as we are told. We are not given an option to think but instead are submitted to laboring over set instructions. Never in our minds would we think of confronting our superiors or questioning authority. Americans make it a point to question everything. Daddy why do I have to do this? Would you ask your father that question if he asked you to do something? I think not. In the American culture, this is acceptable. You are allowed to question what you may think is wrong or could be done differently.
Another flaw in our culture is the way we raise our children. From birth, we shelter our kids from anything that could possibly harm them. We do not permit them to take risks and be independent. By doing so, we promote fickle mindedness and a lack of confidence. In today’s world, confidence is imperative for success. If we do not let our kids venture into the unknown and try things that may have an adverse effect on them, then when they are by themselves as adults and do mess up, they will not know how to deal with the failure. We should allow for them to make mistakes and learn from them at an early age while parents are still there to correct them. This does not happen in India.
The American culture is set up so the above two flaws do not exist. If you want to raise your kids in an optimal environment, America is the place to be. You need to take it upon yourself to blend the two cultures correctly. Instill independence and give the right to question to your kids as do the American. However, simultaneously instill family values and respect. My parents, though they were raised in India, manage to blend both cultures magnificently. I am an excellent student in school. At the same time, I go to parties and hang out with guys AND girls. It is very much possible to have the best of both worlds. However, for this to happen, you need to stay in America.
I am an Indian living in the US. People in the US are really polite, have polished manners and are generally helpful. They’re hard-working and are high achievers.
I love them for that!
However, what kind of bothers me is the ongoing disintegration of moral values in the American society. Young adults can choose to do whatever they want without taking into account the consequences their actions are going to have,
I find the speech of most of my American classmates extremely offensive. They’re almost always cracking vulgar jokes. Many people think, “sex” as a topic for discussion is taboo in Indian society. I strongly disagree. Indians don’t talk about it simply because there really isn’t a need to.
I am a college student here in the US and so I have an insider’s view of how obsessed teenagers can get with sex. They constantly talk about it, think about it and eventually act on their thoughts. Nothing disgusts me more than pre-marital/extra-marital sex. This is all because of how openly sex is discussed in the media and various other places. Young people’s curiosities are aroused and they want to find out for themselves what this so-often-talked-about thingummy is all about.
Just look around and it won’t take long for you to notice how common the use of the f-word has become. Drinking is considered acceptable…They try to promote the idea, “Do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone”. I can list a 100 reasons why pre-marital sex hurts society as a whole even if it doesn’t look all that bad.
To sum it up, I’d say the moral depravity in the US doesn’t make it the most ideal place for children to be raised in.
I would definitely recommend that you consider going back to India so your children would be brought up there. Perhaps, you could come to the US when they’re in their late teens or something.
True, you can live a life of luxury here in the US(and have other benefits as have been mentioned by ABCD in the previous post) but what matters most is your values which in my opinion, are invaluable…
re- the values you pointed out, do you honestly think that people in the West DO NOT have those values? I think those are universal values. Everyone respects them. Having those values is not a uniquely Indian trait.